don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I AM VODKA MAN
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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