Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
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