Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
