I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
