The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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