Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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