my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
