Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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