I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
