just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
