I think I can smell my own vagina right now
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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