IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
