Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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