Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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