Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
