WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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