Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
