I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
