I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
