it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
