i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
