i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
