ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
