i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
