you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
