Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
