this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
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