He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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