So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
