Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
