Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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