is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
