Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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