My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Randomize
