so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
