i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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