he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
