conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
