haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
