I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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