oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
