last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
