and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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