You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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