he shaved USA in his pubs
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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