Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
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