dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
