note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
