oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
