some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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