marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
