i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
so explain again why im purple
no
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
